i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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