i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
