kristin has been a bad kristin
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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