I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
