A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize