On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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