apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
