her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
