Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
