How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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