He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
