3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize