i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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