Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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