Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
