I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
