Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Alive.
So much puke
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize