oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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