Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
