That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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