at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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