margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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