I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
