Jerry, you need to find god
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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