When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
