no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
