Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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