I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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