she sounds like chewbacca in bed
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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