I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
