I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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