o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
