Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
