worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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