My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
