do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
