I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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