I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
