Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
