Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
