...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The ass gains better be worth it
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