Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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