Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
