pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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