She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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