We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Randomize
