if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Is her dick bigger than yours?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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