I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Enjoy the penises
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
