im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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