New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
