Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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