After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
