what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
