Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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