my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Boobs are out for the taking
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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