East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
