You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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