I can tuck mytits in my pants
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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