I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
