i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
