He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
