About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
