i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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